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When I fly, shit happens

10 Jul

OK, so I HATE to fly on an airplane. I always have even though I’ve travelled by plane to Israel, Europe and all over the US. And because of my fear I always seem to make many of the trips uneventful. Let me give you an example. I was heading to Israel for my fourth time. I flew to NY from Atlanta. It was a fairly short flight so I was afraid to take my Dramamine too soon because it made me sleepy. So, I was a basket case worrying the entire time. My brain wouldn’t stop with these horrible thoughts. One was I was acting out the very documentary that would be done about me when my plane crashed. You know those ones where they introduce you to the characters before they get on the plane so you feel you know them by the time they die. I just knew that was going to be me and my insides were yelling,”Don’t get on that plane!” You know, in the same way you yell at the girl who runs upstairs when she’s being chased by a man with a chain saw.

Anyway, by the time I got to NY to get my flight to Israel, I was a nervous wreck. I just wanted to board my plane and take my Dramamine so I could go to sleep. However, the Israeli airline doesn’t move so quickly. It would be another 2 hours of my brain coming up with scenarios of how I was going to die on the plane before I could board. About 45 minutes before my flight I went ahead and took the Dramamine to help me relax a bit.

Finally, when they announced my section on the plane could board, I couldn’t wait to get settled and take a little nap. The Dramamine was taking effect and I was getting very drowsy. When I entered the plane I looked around to take mental notes of the emergency exists and devised in my head how I would escape a plane crash (now I understand that is more than likely not possible but creating even a fictitious plan was helpful to me, OK?).

The plane was huge with three rows of seating and even an upstairs. Since I was in the back of the plane I was able to board first, so I made it to my seat and got settled fairly quickly. By the time the plane took off I was out like a light.

Three hours later I woke up to glass clinking and a flight attendant asking, “Drink please?” I was discombobulated and still groggy from the Dramamine but definitely a lot more relaxed. Since I couldn’t go back to sleep I thought it would be a perfect time to look at a magazine I had brought with me. As I reached under my seat to get it, I noticed things were blurry. Not thinking it might be because of the Dramimine and still being tired, I panicked(I’m sure you can see by now that was not difficult for me to do.). That’s when it dawned on me I must have taken my glasses off when I was sleeping. Where did I put the glasses? I frantically started searching in my bag for them. This was the first time I didn’t bring a spare pair with me. What was I going to do? I needed to find those glasses. The two people sitting next to me saw I was frantically looking through my bags and asked what was wrong. I told them I had lost my eye glasses. They asked me for a description to which I said,”They are orange and shaped similar to the pointy 1960’s glasses.” They were so nice and began looking through their bags to see if they may have fallen in them. A man walking down the isle going to the restroom saw the three of us looking for something so he asked if we were OK. The person next to me told him I had lost my eye glasses and they were orange. So, the guy in the isle started looking by seeing if they were in the isle anywhere. As he was looking the people sitting in front of us and behind us asked the man in the isle what was wrong. When he told them I had lost my eyeglasses and they were orange they began to help in the search. With in 20 minutes I literally had 50 or more people helping me search for my eyeglasses.

I couldn’t sit in my seat any longer knowing my glasses were lost. I couldn’t believe I had more than 50 people looking for a pair of bright orange glasses and not one of them could find them. I figured they were all inept and I just needed to go on a search of the back of the plane myself. I went into the isle and got on my hands and knees to look. I was determined I was going to find them. When I didn’t find them I stood up and tried to rethink my steps when I got on the plane. As I was trying to think a woman kept trying to talk to me. I was so annoyed with her because every time she asked me a question I’d lose my train of thought and have to start all over. I ignored her but the woman was determined to get my attention. She tapped me on the shoulder and asked, ” What do your eyeglasses look like?” By this point I really was in a panic. I had absolutely no time for this woman but I answered her and said a bit rudely, “Lady, they are bright orange and I can’t believe not one person can find them. It’s not like people choose to have multiple pairs of eyeglasses bright orange.” As I continued to rant and rave the woman cut me off and said, “And you are sure they are not the orange pair of eyeglasses you are wearing?” Just as her words soaked into my thick head, I could feel the warmth of embarrassment hit me all over and just knew my face became as red as my hair. My entire demeanor changed. It was as if someone popped my bubble and deflated me.

I thought to myself what an idiot I was to have the entire back of the plane looking for the very pair of glasses I was wearing. And I don’t mean I was wearing them on the top of my head either. I had them on my face and I never noticed I was using them to see and search for my subbosidly lost eyeglasses. How in the hell was I going to get out of this one? However, in my oh so witty 24 year old way I responded, “Oh my gosh, no. I have two pair of orange glasses. The orange pair I was looking for are my spare but I need them if something happens to this pair that I am wearing.” The entire time I am looking at the lady and thinking how dumb I was. The lady was very kind and reassured me I at least had one pair of eyeglasses and would just need to be vigilant with keeping up with them. I thanked her for her help and went to my seat.

As I sat there I reflected on what I had just done. Aside from being terrified to fly, I was also the classic ADHDer. I couldn’t believe with that combination I was able to get that many people worried for me and searching for the very item I wearing. And the fact the glasses were bright orange, how could no one have noticed they were on my face? Once I got over the embarrassment I began to chuckle. Man, those people sitting around me must have thought I was a nut case. But, when thinking about what I had done I knew this would be a humorous story to tell one day. And sadly this is only one of many.

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Posted by on July 10, 2011 in abusive fathers

 

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