Happy Anniversary, Carol!

27 Jul

I was the little girl who loved twirling pink dresses and would dream of getting married in a white dress like my own mom. Then, I became the teenager who said I’d never change my name for a man and expected my husband to be the stay at home dad. In my early 20’s I swore off marriage all together, said I never wanted children and I wanted to live on a kibbutz making art all day and night.

Well, things turned out but in my wildest dreams I would have never imagined in this way. Nine years ago today my partner and I celebrated our love for each other in front of 50 friends and family members. It was a wonderful day and it was everything I had ever wanted in a “wedding”. OK, maybe a band and a honeymoon would have been really nice but aside from that I wouldn’t have changed anything else.

Once Carol and I picked the date I had six weeks to get everything done. I knew Carol was worried about the cost but I knew if we did most of it ourselves it would work out fine. Carol made our Ketubah which we had all of our guests sign and two friends and I made our Chuppah. We asked our guests to bring a covered dish for the reception after our ceremony and another friend made our wonderful wedding cake. We had an abundance of friends who participated. One played the piano, another sang, one took photos and another played the guitar. Not able to be married in a Synagogue as I would have loved, we had the next best thing at the UU. The minister was a wonderful man who had known us so we knew he was the perfect person to officiate.

I remember waking up the morning of our ceremony excited and nervous. We headed over to the church early to prepare the sanctuary for our wedding. When we hung our Chuppah that’s when it all became real. I remember Carol and I standing together and looking at it. To see it hanging so beautifully from the wooden rafters with our rainbow star facing the congregation we realized that was our special day.

After we set up the sanctuary we went home to rest for a few hours. Later in the afternoon we gathered our clothes, packed the car and headed back to the UU. I was really nervous by that point. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be in front of so many people but of course it was too late for those thoughts.

Carol got dressed in a room in the sanctuary and I got dressed in the minister’s office. Carol’s daughter would go back and forth relaying messages between us. My sister had arrived early with her husband and two daughters. I was so glad and asked a friend to get her for me. I never knew how she felt that day about my unconventional wedding but that didn’t matter. I was happy to have her there and a part of it. That meant a lot to me.

We had asked Carol’s daughter to walk each of us into the sanctuary. When she came to get me, I told Carol’s daughter how nervous I was. I had to remind myself to not squeeze her hand too hard as she lead me into the sanctuary. As she and I walked in and down the isle I remember locking eyes with Carol. She was beaming. My heart was fluttering like it was the first time we met. It was an exciting moment.

As much as I want to marry my partner legally (and to have a wedding) there is no way I can deny that July 27th, 2002 was a very special day that I’d never trade for the world. We committed to one another that day and it was very real to us. It also showed our friends and family that our love was real and that we were committed to each other.

Now 14 years later (of being together) and 9 years since our ceremony I am still happily in love with you, Carol. You are my heart, my love and my protector. We still finish each others sentences and sing made up songs. After all of these years I stillI leave my shoes in the middle of the floor, rescue drowning worms and go through life with a tremendous passion. But, it’s my pleasure to be able to do those things with you in my life. I know we’ve had our rough times but I could never think of being without you. How we met, the paths we crossed in our past and our love for each other has truly been Bashert. Here’s to many many many more happy years together.

Happy Anniversary- I love you!


Posted by on July 27, 2011 in abusive fathers


2 responses to “Happy Anniversary, Carol!

  1. halfcnote

    July 27, 2011 at 9:07 am

    You beat me to it! Happy Anniversary, my love.


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