A week after my vaginal sonogram I met with my doctor to go over the results. He told me everything looked great. He seemed so surprised he didn’t find anything wrong with me. He didn’t seem accustomed to dealing with women who were just in need of sperm and a turkey baster (sort of speak). The doctor said I was all healthy. Whoo hoo! That meant I could be inseminated at my next month’s ovulation surge, right? Well, not exactly. My doctor still had a different plan in mind even though I has discussed not doing a lot of the extra things he wanted to do. But still he felt I needed to go through at least 3 more cycles before doing the inseminated. THREE MORE CYCLES? WHY? I hadn’t been on birth control nor was I taking any fertility drugs to even warrant waiting that long. AND on top of that my cycle was spot on regular. SO, how would going through 3 more cycles be beneficial? I bet you’re thinking why didn’t I ask the doctor that question. Well, I did. And his answer? He told me it was his rule of thumb when dealing with infertility problems to have the woman go through at least three to four cycles. And during each cycle to have a vaginal sonogram. THREE MORE VAGINAL SONOGRAMS? HELL NO! That was enough fire under my ass to fight for what I wanted and I wanted to be inseminated during my next cycle. listen, I understood the doctor knew what he was doing but I also knew he was not accustomed to having patients like me. That seemed very evident in his approach. For G-d sake I was healthy. He found no indications I’d have any problems getting pregnant. And even though I was slightly over 30 I still statistically had every good chance of getting pregnant. I challenged my doctor and asked him to define what he meant by infertility problems. The doctor gave me a funny look and then told me it meant many things. For one if a woman had tried to get pregnant for a specific amount of time and couldn’t… if she had miscarried a number of times…if her cycle wasn’t regular…if she was considered high risk because of her age (around 35 and up). Meanwhile none of those did I fall into that category. When he was done explaining it to me I told him there was no proof I was “infertile” in any of the ways he had explained. I rattled off a check list of things he said made me in a good place to get pregnant. I could see he was a bit dumbfounded by my defense and I’m sure very annoyed.
Here was the thing. I understood my doctor dealt with so many women who had a variety of infertility problems. He was being cautious and making sure he covered all of his bases. He wanted to assure I had the highest opportunity to get pregnant. I got that and I understood it. But, there seemed to be a missing piece here. There were patients like me who didn’t need all of those added procedures and the added expenses. In some way I felt they were constantly up selling. It just didn’t feel right. When my doctor was unable to substantiate why it was necessary for me to wait 3 more cycles (as all of his reasonings were based on women who had preexisting problems) he agreed to do the insemination during my next ovulation surge. Even though he agreed I could tell he wasn’t happy with that decision. I didn’t care. When I thought about all of those women who’s insurance companies didn’t even pay for the preliminary tests (let alone the procedures), how was it they could afford all of it? It seemed a bit out of hand. I could understand if the procedures needed was substantiated but to me they definitely didn’t seem as if they were. On a side note I found an article where the infertility doctor who did my vaginal sonogram said she would do all she could to prevent insurance companies from paying for infertility procedures. I kid you not! Meanwhile, why should the infertility clinics push for insurance coverage for their patients? These facilities were already packed with women wanting to get pregnant and a large number of them were paying top dollar for that chance. Those women were desperate and would pay anything they could to have their own babies. There just didn’t seem to be any regulating of extraneous tests. There just seemed SO MANY arbitrary tests required without legitimate reasons (as was done to me). Now folks, I can only speak for the infertility facility I was using at that time. I am not suggesting all facilities are bad. I can only speak about my experience with the one I used.
Here was the other thing about this infertility clinic. Each time I visited their facility they would tell me I owed money on procedures our insurance company said they’d pay. I’d have to continuously tell them I had health insurance, show them the card (which they already had seen) and then request for them to please file it with them. When I’d return for another visit the same thing would happen all over again. The woman at the front desk often argued with me telling me that insurance companies don’t pay for infertility and she’d try to get me to pay for it. Here was the thing. Everything had to be paid in full at the beginning of each visit- no payment plans were accepted. If there was some confusion with the bill which happened often to us, it had to be cleared up before being allowed to see the doctor. So, when they chose to not file with our insurance company, it took forever to get it straightened out during each of my visits. AND it was all handled by the front desk woman, so there was never any privacy. I hated that the people in the waiting room were privy to my conversations with the front desk woman about my personal account. It was crazy. Just to be clear here. The facility I was going to was a state run facility and it accepted our insurance. They were supposed to be a reputable facility but I was quickly doubting that fact.
The entire process with this particular facility was nerve racking. Carol couldn’t be with me and me dealing with the business end of things was difficult. I just wanted to focus on getting pregnant (as crazy as that sounds). And I did. I refused to see a lot of what was happening so that I could keep focus on what I wanted more than anything in the world- a baby.
I had one last meeting with my doctor before my insemination. He explained in detail the process of being inseminated. It was at this time I asked him if I could bring a friend with me to the insemination. With out hesitation he said, “Absolutely!” He even added that he’d expect me to have someone with me. The last bit of information my doctor told me was if I surged on a Saturday or Sunday morning, it would be the doctor on call who would perform the insemination. Knowing there were only two doctors in his practice with the woman who did my vaginal sonogram as the other, I realized I had a great chance of her doing my insemination. But, honestly, I couldn’t even think about that then. I just couldn’t worry about it because I couldn’t do anything about it. I could only focus on the exciting news that in less than a month I would be inseminated. I couldn’t believe my dream was becoming a reality. I was thrilled beyond words and I was scared as hell.